It hasn’t been an easy few months.
Last weekend, I dropped my husband off at the airport and said goodbye for the second time this summer. The first time I waved goodbye was in June. I’d spent nearly two months without the most important person in my life. That morning in June was tough, but I had no idea what I was in for. Last weekend as he walked into the airport, I knew. I cried so hard as I drove away that I had to pull off the road for safety.
Then I went to visit some friends. They made me laugh, let me hold their four-month-old son, and told me it was going to be okay. It got me back on the road with the same gnawing loneliness but without the fountain of tears. I made it through the four hour drive home with Relient K and Skillet blasting on the car stereo, a bag of teriyaki beef jerky, a bottle of cherry Coke, gummi peach rings, and red licorice. I rarely stuff my face like that, but what else was I going to do with no one to talk to?
I guess I make it look easy since I can count on one hand the number of acquaintances who have asked me if there is something wrong. It’s not easy.
But I’m coping. Sometimes it takes a bag of beef jerky and a friend’s infant with the goofiest facial expressions ever seen. Sometimes it takes a pillow to fill the empty space in our bed. Sometimes it takes a long walk on lunch break to get away from the fact that he won’t be there to hug me when I get home. Usually it demands long talks with the Lord.
That’s why I’m not writing much. When my main muse isn’t around, it’s really hard to want to put pen to paper. Or fingers to keyboard.
And yes, prayer would be appreciated. Hugs too. Pray harder for my brother-in-law’s fiancee. He’s been away since January, and he’s currently stationed in Iraq.