I had a weird dream last night.
I was back in college sitting in a classroom waiting for class to start. The professor walked in carrying a stack of papers and started handing them out. I realized I was in college algebra, and I hadn’t studied for the test.
(If you don’t already know, I dislike math with a passion. The concepts and theorems are interesting, but the raw calculation is like dragging my fingernails across a chalkboard. I despise it. Give me a calculator or Excel any day. Part of the reason I chose to major in psychology is because it required exactly one math class: statistics. Dreaming about a math test is pretty close to a nightmare for me.)
The test was at least four pages of long complicated word problems. There were also a lot of true-false questions for some reason. It might as well have been Greek. I knew I didn’t have a lot of time to finish the test. I hurried as fast I could, skipping questions I had no clue about and wondering why on earth I didn’t study for this test. I kept thinking, “If I had studied, I might know how to do that.” I found myself skipping nearly every question and being very unsure of the few I did answer.
At this point I wish I could remember the questions because I’m sure it would provide a lot of insight into my psyche. The few details I do remember are bizarre. I know several of the true-false questions were logic puzzles that made ZERO sense. I think one might have involved squirrels. I vaguely remember thinking I needed to use game theory for one question but having no idea what game theory actually was. I don’t remember statistics questions, but that would have been a true nightmare.
The professor called time, and I felt an absolutely crushing sense of failure. I was numb. I sat there, staring at the insane test in front of me thinking, “There is no way this was college algebra. There’s just no way.”
As the professor took up the tests, I realized that she was the ditzy intern from 30 Rock.
I handed her my pathetic test, and said, “I totally failed this.”
“You probably did fine, ” she said in that obnoxiously dumb voice. “Don’t worry about it.”
“I only answered five questions.”
“Oh. Yeah, you totally flunked it. Oh well! See you next week!”
Then I woke up.
All that to say I’m pretty sure I’ve been watching too many episodes of Numb3rs on Netflix.